What the fuck do I do.

[Iron Lung]

To save you all a long long history I'll cut to the chase here. My girlfriends parents hate me, always have. They've had a long history of sending her emails about how bad and worthless I am, actively tried to control her phone and internet usage (even while shes off and collage) to prevent her from talking to me (hasn't worked but its the thought that counts) imagine 5 years of repeated shit like that, and now this.


While she was at school this semester they saved up news articles about white men beating up their asian wives and then gave them to her, while simultaneously going through her mail, found her bonus check for the new job she landed etc....

Anywho this latest thing with the articles has me more pissed than I ever have been with them or ever in general and I don't know how the fuck to handle this anymore.

[eclyps]

never give up an asian chick...






unless her parents are both ninjas.

//Edit: oh, this is the srs forum... ummm.... not a whole lot you can do. The rents will most likely continue to make your life a living hell if you stay with her and eventually marry her. Is she worth it?

[Iron Lung]

never give up an asian chick...






unless her parents are both ninjas.

//Edit: oh, this is the srs forum... ummm.... not a whole lot you can do. The rents will most likely continue to make your life a living hell if you stay with her and eventually marry her. Is she worth it?

been together for 5 years now, very very very worth it.

[Tragic]

I was about to say if he's been with her for 5 years she's obviously worth it. My guess it honestly has nothing to do with you but with your ethnicity which I find sad because I think people should get past this whole racism bullshit.

[Iron Lung]

I was about to say if he's been with her for 5 years she's obviously worth it. My guess it honestly has nothing to do with you but with your ethnicity which I find sad because I think people should get past this whole racism bullshit.

this is exactly what a close friend was telling me. Justr hard to get yourself to play the race card, even in your head when you're white

[luthi3n]

I've never been in a situation with parents this bad (or a relationship for 5 years lol). But based on the 5 years and what you said, I definitely would not let her parents push you out of her life. Not really sure what you can do, but definitely don't give up.

[KnowledgeJunkie]

NON-SERIOUS ANSWER:
Save up new clippings of asian men doing crazy things, esp. beating their wives.

SERIOUS ANSWER:
Honestly seems about the only thing you could do is pull a romantic comedy and bust your ass so hard in front of them (getting the door for them, walking their dog, making them a traditional meal, save a puppy from death and nurse him back to health, buying her a car) that they can't retort with "look at these news articles though!" Best of luck with that.

[JJ_Sky5000]

its not for you to handle it!!!! its her , She need to tell her family where you stand in her life. she may have to make a choice her family or you. then they will get it...Saw it will my brother in law. He married her and all was well. They love him now. its not you they dont like, its anybody they dont hand pick!!!

[Racing Jag]

You have been with her for 5 years, you obviously care a lot about her. I would say stay with her and be very very nice to her parents and when you are around them show how much you care for their daughter.

[cixelsyd]

Propose to her in front of her parents. Show them you don't give a damn what they think. I note that this could be good idea in some cases or a terrible idea.

[Wykydtron]

Is her family like 100% asian and super oldschool? Cus if they are shes probably scared that her family will cut all ties with her if shes says "no i love him and i want to stay with him". The parents/family wont care how rich and nice you are nothing will change the fact that if she chooses you over them it will "disgrace" the family. This is what happened to my friends cousin whos entire family is 100% Vietnamese. There is not much you can do if that is the case.

[Brizad]

It is important to understand that family will be loved. I would not ask her to confront her family, but just talk with her and let her know that it is upsetting. How she handles it is up to her. As for how you interact with her parents.... my best advise has always served me well.... kill them with kindness. It bugs the shit out of people when you do that. They thrive on conflict with you, and when you fail to give them the satisfaction of being upset, drives them nuts.

good luck and best wishes

[lizardking]

i just ignore my gf's parents and dont speak with them unless i ABSOLUTELY have to and even then its just a curt hello. and they are giant fucking assholes. if they were my parents id have punched in the throat by now and said so long.

example: they favor the fuck out of the younger daughter. these cheap fucks wont pay her summer rent(4*450), only during the school year but her younger sister got into MIT and they are going to pay for all of it(like 50grand a year). boggles my mind why she still puts up with their shit. I know i certainly wont and dont.

[Brandname]

Send them pictures of you having sex with their daughter in their bed.

[redone632]

http://harlemworldblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/phil.jpeg

[Tragic]

Send them pictures of you having sex with their daughter in their bed.
WORST ADVICE EVER! Done the act but no pictures.

[Prosthetics]

1) Going through her mail is illegal.
2) They must be racist.

Honestly, if they are that obsessed with hating you, there is little chance of them changing, so talking to them is basically a bad idea. Only sensible thing to do is to move far away from them.

[PandaBear]

send them pictures of you having sex with their daughter in their bed.
hahahahahahaha

[kiltedboywonder]

It is important to understand that family will be loved. I would not ask her to confront her family, but just talk with her and let her know that it is upsetting. How she handles it is up to her. As for how you interact with her parents.... my best advise has always served me well.... kill them with kindness. It bugs the shit out of people when you do that. They thrive on conflict with you, and when you fail to give them the satisfaction of being upset, drives them nuts.

good luck and best wishes

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” -Oscar Wilde

[Enlightened Fool]

When it comes to people loving each other, parents, friends, and anyone other than you two's opinions really don't matter as long as you love each other.
5 years is a loooong time, def. would not stop seeing her.
I'd tell them, "Hey, I've got a (good)job(if you do), go to school(if you do), got my own place(if you do), got my own car(if you do) and don't physically/mentally abuse her.
So quit with the BS please and let us be happy without your negativity."

That's just what I'd say, not necessarily saying you should.

1) Going through her mail is illegal.


Yes indeed, emails included. Tell her to change her password and not tell them she did, and have her remind them they're invading her privacy illegally.

[oni]

Ok I have to say thanks I thought my gf's mom was bad but thats deflenty worse, i mena my gf mom doesnt like me much casue i am stealing her baby away. but i dont care i love her and really dont care if her mom likes it, it's dam near 2010 things change! Just be nice, and talk to your woman make sure shes knows how you feel about it and if she feels the same way and agrred about the email why would she let them do that... you shoudl send some "sex" pics of yorself to her eamil lol and then let them find thoose lol

but best of luck

[Manbearpig]

honestly id just piss them off beyond belief so they would give up and see theres no getting to me. brands idea is something id have probably considered doing .my girlfriends parents are huge assholes too, insanely strict and the biggest pain in my ass ever, if i absolutely have to go see them i just ignore them the entire night and crack horribly offensive jokes the whole time. they think im a lost caus and dont even bother anymore

[Ariandis]

The best thing you can do is prove her parents wrong. Make them constantly wonder when you'll screw up, but never do. That way, you will be happy with her and you can have your life together. And spite the parents while you are at it.

Don't give up. Love is far more important than parental approval.

[Tango]

She obviously feels pressured by her family to dump you and she hasn't. Let he know that you are there for her and she will stay with you, regardless of her parent's pressure.

[Iron Lung]

Her leaving me because of them as never been an issue. We're pretty solid and comfortable in our relationship and their bullshit is just confusing and irrelevant. That being said

I do plan to spend the rest of my life with this girl and when you marry someone you marry their family, how am I ever supposed to even cultivate a curteous relationship with them when they act this way?

I've always treated Luyi with love and respect and I've been working hard (harder in the past year) to develop the start of a career that I can go to school for and finish up in less than a few years. I've been nothing but kind to her parents, I've tried writing letters, email, calling trying to figure out why they hate me so much and if we can resolve it... just a stone wall every time I try (plus it usually results in them renewing their attacks on my character).

Luyi and I will probably spend the rest of our lives together, I just need to find a way to live with these people in my life permently.

[Timmah!]

I'm shocked it hasn't been said yet, but I will: grab your nut-sack and confront them. And I don't mean that in an abbrasive way. I presume they live within driving distance...? If so, I would pick an evening to drive to their house, knock on the door, and say something to the effect of "I'd really like to sit down and talk if we could." Find out what it is that they're really concerned about and put their fears to rest. Seems pretty clear that they're racist, so you need to proove them wrong...that you care for her, would never hurt her, and will do everything to protect and provide for her, etc...

[Mr. Bushido]

I'm with Timmah, if you directly confront them on the issue, but do it in a mature and rational manner, what can they do? Continue? That would make them look like fools, even in their own eyes. Do it on their "turf" if you will, as in their home. It will show that you respect them, even if they refuse to see it. Don't attempt to talk over a dinner, just sit down and talk. If they continue to refuse, then it is their own loss more than anyone else's. Nonetheless, the power to break the cycle lies with your actions, whatever methods you choose. Just keep calm, rational, and don't get into a heated argument.

Also,
It's clear to me from what you've said that you and this gal are very much in love and more importantly she's put up with it too BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU THAT MUCH. If she can, you can, and have. You have Bushido's approval and support, sir.

[Brizad]

I would not do that Mr. Bushido and Timmah.... it is not his family to confont. Plus you are only enforcing their need for conflict and more racist fuel.

[Mr. Bushido]

If he goes there and simply asks "why?" I don't consider it a confrontation. Confrontation would be to attack them about it. There are genteel ways of speaking with them, the difficulty lies in keeping cool because Iron Lung has commented that this has been going on for years.

[BuysBeer4Minors]

I'd just continue to work hard and treat her right. Until her parents come around it will be your cross to bare.

[amber]

Tell them in private that if they don't start treating you with respect then you WILL start beating their daughter. She'll never believe them and it will give you the upper hand with them.

Nah really I don't know... I've never had any problem with boyfriends' parents and the only time they have with mine is when they have a bad attitude about it.

[Red_Mist]

What they're doing is not love. It is a malicious attempt at relationship sabotage. MAJOR KUDOS to her for being awesome and ignoring their vain attempts to tear you two apart. But I must be honest...SHE should be the one to say, "WTF guys!?" They're HER parents. If you tell them off, they'll hate you more; if she does it, they might rethink things. If YOUR parents were ripping on HER all the time, I would imagine you'd have some words for them. Well, it goes both ways. They are the ones harassing her, telling her that she is incapable of making her own decisions. Since she loves you, she should be stepping up to bat for you, just as you would for her.

They're basically saying to her face, "The one you care for and love more than anything in the entire world is a worthless piece of shit."......she should be PISSED. If she is just letting this roll off her back, she shouldn't be.

[Frodo De Mar]

why so necro?