Please stop holding my hand.

First, before I start this article, I would like to point out that it’s actually pretty awesome that more and more people are gaming. It’s not like it was in middleschool-half of highschool for me where one wouldn’t talk about playing games, let alone how they stayed up on WoW last night until 4:30 A.M. to down a boss – because that’s nerdy and stupid and ‘Hey do you like the inside of your locker?’

That aside. What happened to videogames as a whole because of this? What happened to starting a game, and I don’t know, actually having fun? Just picking up a controller and having fun. Don’t get me wrong, I will go out of my way to do every single sidequest I possibly can, but what has that done to videogames recently? It seems the last few years all it has done is add in a whole new system where you pick up some quest from an old guy, he tells you “The man you’re looking for was last seen hunting by the cave near the mountain” …so naturally, you’d go check the cave near the mountain. But that isn’t enough. Now it’s “This cave is near the mountain and it seems Johnny Manlyman has wandered into the cave and gotten lost, open up your map to see the exact location and the difficulty of the area so you will come prepared”

It seems that the last couple of years the games that I have loved have become more and more child friendly. But the problem is – even children can figure this shit out. I don’t need a giant arrow to tell me exactly where to go, it’s OKAY, I can read literally 5 lines of text and know almost exactly what I should do. (if I even need that! – most times my memory serves me quite well because I JUST FUCKING PASSED THE CAVE 23 SECONDS AGO) Truth be told, I don’t need you to tell me where and how hard it’s going to be. I do not need my hand to be held constantly.

If it’s in some tutorial of a game, I can understand completely, but if I’m like 7 hours into a game and you’re still pointing out where I should go or what I should be doing at this very exact spot… then stop it. Just goddamn stop it. It’s okay to have a little guidance, but I don’t need the game playing itself for me. If I wanted that, I would go play Nascar 2012 so I wouldn’t have to think, I could just hold my control stick to the left and drool on my xbox controller.

Please, developers.. I beg of you. Stop being so casual friendly. I understand you want to appeal to everyone, but even my grandmother can figure out how to play every Zelda and Tomb Raider game without asking anyone or looking anything up. It’s not a hard concept to think for yourself, stop treating me like I am a 3 year old.

Your games are fantastic and fun but I sometimes enjoy having a challenge.


6 responses to “Please stop holding my hand.”

  1. Xzi says:

    For the record – I loved ME3

  2. Kool-AiD says:

    My grandma could not play OoT.

    But she played/beat the 8-bit Mario with me and my brother. :3

  3. Snowblind says:

    Your whole rant made me just think of Fable 2 and the “golden trail of stupidity”.
    On the other hand, massive games like Skyrim need an arrow or map indicator cause I don’t want to check the map every 5 min so I can make sure I’m heading in the right direction. I don’t think that is holding the players hand.

  4. Wykydtron says:

    What? You mean you don’t like walking in skyrim only to be like YEAH its probably over this tiny lit-OMFG I’M FALLING.

  5. Tango says:

    oh thank you, for reminding me of this

  6. Enlightened Fool says:

    everything has to be idiot proof, from products(don’t put dangerous chems in eyes!), to food(hey don’t eat too much of this it’ll make you fat!), to entertainment(like you stated above).

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.